-Impulse-Freedom-Destiny-

2011-08-24T21:53:00.000+08:00

ok, i know i rot already..

currently i have no update.

see ya

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S.
Desmond
Shinn

2011-05-12T00:33:00.000+08:00

2 month already past. alot of things had took its places..

i am still wondering what is next.. will update soon

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2011-03-24T01:05:00.003+08:00

Back for an update..

Ya recently i had quite alot of unhappiness along.. with me all the time.
but it doesn't stop what ever i try to do.

Help Ella mei to reformatte once again her Laptop and before that read the data out to prevent data lost.

take a quite long time.. its alright.

yesterday afternoon about 3, i went to Kbox with Bentley, irene and joycelyn. its was fun.. i can't say i am singing in the best condition..

its hard for me to decide what to do for now. but today will be a fullfilled day.. i hope so.. hahah.!

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2011-02-24T00:16:00.002+08:00

back for an update.

i think its about time, i kept silent.
and keep real silent...
dead silent...

that my life?

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S.
Desmond
Shinn

2011-02-20T02:25:00.002+08:00

ohh hii,

back for an minor update,

today i went to see Ella! and to contact her i did waste a bit of time but its alright.
i tried to recover her pc but too lag and cause a force shutdown without entering the BIOS which in important for me to do a total upgrade.

after a total upgrade i still need to do modification which i haven't totally done with it yet. i might have to see her pc once again with a good internet connections.

its wasn't bad day afterall. go home and rest for now.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2011-02-03T16:12:00.002+08:00

Back for an update.

today is chinese new year. Here fore I wish all chinese a Happy New Year. Best of Luck ahead.

Well back to the topic which I wanted to say. Today to me is a nightmare. What I want will never get. that what I am facing. To me sometimes I would like to wish that I can forgo my past and look towards future. But it's harder to do then say. I said I can forgo. But my heart won't let this matter off. This is one of my Knot in my heart. Its a family issue that I won't like to open for an discussion.

Yeah 1 tough years past as I think I can conclude it...? Sometime I think I will do something about a year. and I will TRY! but failed. Its tougher to face reality then facing in your "IDEAL" world.

that conclude my thoughts for now.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-12-18T22:41:00.002+08:00

back to update,

recently, or rather that yesterday, the laptop suddenly cannot turn on,
... My 5 years notebook burn due to unknown reason. Never mind la lucky i got a laptop extra at home..
I bought it due to i had a feeling that it will spoilt.. Lucky.. I got it back up..

Haiz

that about all,

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-12-10T18:26:00.002+08:00

back to update,

today is me and irene second's month anniversary so happy.
We decided to eat japanese food for celebrations haha.

Back to topic, yesterday's practical exam was such a stress, its not
the exam hard. But yong zhi burned a rectifier in full wave bridge rectifier circuit
the smell was like hell, cause i sit near him, beside me is clement the smoke was like incredibal much.
Lucky mr guo let him retake. Retake percentage is 100percent,
he's lucky.

Got to go

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-12-06T20:17:00.002+08:00

back to update,

i have change my phone plan to 3g flexi lite. Phone is nokia e5.
But i never feels that way, i mean happy...

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-12-01T00:24:00.002+08:00

I'm back.. So long..

Tomorrow is December... When should i pick my sword up?
The sword. is something that is a power that people wants
its also sometime that make people crys

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-10-29T22:41:00.002+08:00

back to update,

Recently i have installed a new Window installations, Instead of using old Window Vista Home Prenium. I installed the Window 7 Ultimate Genuine Ver. its was a hard to install ver. of windows. I have also installed Ubuntu side by side with the Operating Systems. its so cool and yet so tough.. ahaha.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-10-24T14:52:00.001+08:00

back to update.

I have updated the newest - STATE of the art. Linux ubuntu 10.10 OS on my comp
it look like mac OS. which written by Unix.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S.
Desmond
Shinn

2010-09-27T04:02:00.002+08:00

HI! went back to update!

I think its about 1 month ago i bought a bike. namely Formula FXT. by Aleoca this italy company. its cost me 319 for it together with a extra stand. Now this FXT have a new mission and a nickname "Destiny".

its new aim is to travel around Singapore if i can. Now Jeremy and I had a plan of riding from west to east! from lakeside to Yio Chu Kang. new challenge for me. VERY VERY Challenging i supposed.

talk about more today. we saw the hard to explain "ASTROLOGY" its a constant moving in a fix movement of 9 mysterial object in the air with colors White, black, Grey, Brown, dark drown, blue , green, red, gold. slowly it became 7 colors. just minus the GREY and GREEN from the 9 colors. the from that 7 colors become 5. just minus the white abd black from the 7 colors. how can i explain this...

i suggest to him to sent me home just now. Jeremy enter the same route as me from Jurong West Ave1 back to Boon Lay my house.. We saw the same thing. there is a old lady burning Josspaper at the road side. later i reach home about 5 mins or less when Jeremy went back home using the same route. the fire is gone. no smoke nor sign of the old lady. What a world had happened?!

so what is going on now?!

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S.
Desmond
Shinn

2010-09-15T14:40:00.002+08:00

back for update.

Afternoon world. i am not okay le. I am not oppressed or what for now.
I spent some money for the bike. and now ok le.
my leg still ok.

thank for concerns.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-09-13T01:59:00.002+08:00

Back for small update.

today, 13 sept. I failed to keep my promise to one of my sister.
I feeling down when i realise that i have some common symptom of my dad's heart condition.

1 more sad thing happen in me is that one of my sisters, for the sake of her friend, she betray herselve.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING DESMOND, THE D.A.E.S
I feeling down because i didn't fulfill the promise to her.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING MAN SOMEBODY TELLS ME!
The reason that i help everyone without grouping them is because i don't want people with bad family background. to be dispised in this society. I want to help them regain the confidence in live.

I FAILED ! DAMN IT! I DON'T FIT FOR IT AT ALL.
DAMN YOU DESMOND! YOU ARE A FOOL WHO INCAPABLE OF PURASUADING HER TO BACK TO NORMAL

YOU ARE A FOOL

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-08-27T02:41:00.002+08:00

back for little update,

Yes, recently having some Stupid YOG holiday and met Ella my sister up. that really cool. Having a great time end up in hospital, DAMN IT.

I am going to share with u another passage.

第几天

我离开你的日子里
我从没有那么的空虚过
感觉不到以往生存的意义
我很想对你说，
我还是很爱你的
只是我没有了机会。
这几天内我触碰了过去
想了想我们的回忆里
是否含有我的过错。

我感觉到了。。
我终于领悟了你当时的痛苦
我看到了自己的错
了解了你的心里想的东西了。
我开始越来越不了解自己了。
我到底在离开你时，我到底是怎样的人

听到你口所说的你有喜欢的对象。
我是为你开心。同时在安抚我自己。
因为我。。。
我。。。
我想把你留在我身旁。因为我还爱着你
其实那一天，
我并没有要离开你的意思。
我承认是我的错。
如今，你有了喜欢的对象。
我也就悄悄地离开。
我要带着我们的回忆。
走入我的终点站。。。
那就是我的。。生命的终止

that about it.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-08-14T02:19:00.002+08:00

Yea I come back for an update...

I just want to share a passage to everyone.
wrote by me.

离开你是对的吗？
这句话我问了问我自己。
我始终没有一个答案，
就在你离开后的那一天，
我的世界突然变得空白。
变得更加恐怖，
一个人的生活过得好苦好苦。
眼前面临的一切，
让我反复反省。
当我发现自己其实一直给你麻烦时，
一切都太晚了。
我已经来不及了。
对不起，因为了我，你受了不少苦。
就因为我，你容忍了我的过错。
就因为爱我，你也同时放弃了你想要做的事。
我发现了我并不是一个。。。。
能体谅你，能保护你，
能够与你度过你艰难的日子的人。

离开了你这么久，
我偶尔路过与你步行回家的路。
我看见了以前的日子。
想起了我们途中所说的话。
突然有一股冲动。。
恨不得现在我就在你的身旁。
但。。比我爱你的人现在就出现在你的身旁。
我希望他能带给你幸福，
希望他能让你忘了我。
或许你就会找到快乐。

我是后悔了，但是。。
我相信他能带给你，我那做不到的事。
我也希望在我离开这世界之前。
能够再度站在你面前，
说声我爱你，对不起。
我会依旧照着我对你的承诺。
我会照顾你，保护你。。。

ya that all i supposed.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-08-01T23:54:00.004+08:00

Back for small update.

Recently I having quite a problem.
This problem is between bentley and jason..
Its harder to solve the problem i must say. but i willing to try.
...

recently i also found a nice word for relationship.

相思

红豆生南国,
是很遥远的事情。
相思算什么,
早无人在意。
醉卧不夜城,
处处霓虹。
酒杯中好一片滥滥风情。
最肯忘却古人诗,
最不屑一顾是相思。
守着爱怕人笑,
还怕人看清。
春又来看红豆开,
竟不见有情人去采,
烟花拥着风流真情不在。
最肯忘却古人诗,
最不屑一顾是相思。
守着爱怕人笑,
还怕人看清。
春又来看红豆开,
竟不见有情人去采,
烟花拥着风流真情不在。
最肯忘却古人诗,
最不屑一顾是相思。
守着爱怕人笑,
还怕人看清。
春又来看红豆开,
竟不见有情人去采,
烟花拥着风流真情不在。
烟花拥着风流真情不在。

This should ends off the post nicely.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-07-27T01:33:00.003+08:00

I am back for a small update.

Recently down with virus. Its just a common cold and take me weeks to heal. Afterall it won't be healing nor recovering.

Few more weeks to exam. I am kind of anxious yet lazy. let me do some thing for now.
that is sleep..

but i won't fall a sleep easy. I have that phobia that i get insomnia easily. that is me. forever won't change.

For now.I leave here again

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S.
Desmond
Shinn

2010-07-25T02:24:00.002+08:00

Just have a quick update.

Today was quite a happy day spending with Jeremy, Jiada, and Yilong. Of course we can't be normal sometime. we need to joke around.. but time flies past fast.. and we have to go home.

while walking back home, together with jiada, yilong. we talk about past.. I would say that all are changed. I prefer the past. and not present. its because the memories are there..

For now I will just share some of my thought.

When we were still a child. The nature of the earth is our playground.
when we were still a child. we have no sense of fear.
when we were still a child. we enjoy times with friends.
now that we have become a youth. we lost that playground
we gain a sense of fear,
we hardly have time for each other.

Every night, I feel the loneliness, the sadness. its the earth cry.
weep silently, and it hurts us during the night, covered her face in the day.
she is helpless. so do i.
let us do something before the destruction appears.

can we still do something??
--Desmond.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-07-24T01:30:00.006+08:00

Back to update.

I make a fantastic-ally big mistake.. I have forgotten about it....

< I clearly forgotten about

AFFECTIONATE

PLAN

This plan was up since last month when I know that Bentley likes SiPei. Out of curosity, I initiated this plan together with Joycelyn. This is the plan which i used to monitor's bentley's action and as well as the opposite party. Sipei.

I have to say this, Now bentley haven't totally forgotten about Sipei. Its just that is hidden inside his heart. I can see that Sipei is his cup of tea, or miss right. Yet she don't have feeling for him..

From that day They are together. I mean someone else and bentley. I have a feeling that i have forgotten something big and serious matter... that is Bentley have not clearly forgotten about Sipei.

Today, I just msn-ed Joycelyn. I told her what I see and predicted and ask her to prove me wrong.. I believe that everything have its consequence. SO I decided to told her the

1st plan- the affectionate plan. Initiated to monitor ben and SP uses. According to plan. the plan will ends when ben and sp once again single. this plan initially is for them.

2 consequences. 1st, Bentley will continue with his life with SP. 2nd. Bentley will love someone.

4 outcome. 1st, Bentley will still love SP 2nd, Bentley will love you 3rd, Bentley will ignore you 4th, Bentley will ignore SP.

8 Ending. 1, Bentley will continue his life single. 2, Bentley will break with SP if they together. 3, Bentley will break with you. 4, Bentley will detest you 5, Bentley will continue with you. 6, Bentley will continue with SP 7, Bentley will detest SP 8, Bentley will end up detesting relationship.

These are possible outcome, for that plan...
PREDICTED IS :

PREDICTED.

1st plan. Affectionate plan initiated. 1 consequence, Bentley will love someone else. 1 outcome, Bentley will still love SP lastly 1 ending.. Bentley will end up detesting relationship.... that will take sometime to recover. if this happens.

And that why...

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-07-19T23:47:00.002+08:00

Yes I am back for an update after so long...

Yesterday was a horrible day. I can't express much but I will write it all here..

Last Friday. Bryant come to Boonlay to find his grandmother. but he didn't cause of going to TGIF he was late and I decided to let him in to my house for some reason. Main reason is don't want him to wander in the middle of the night. we played psp till 7am..

Saturday. I go to his grandmother house with him in afternoon and he say he want to sleep at his grand mother's house and he took a bath there. After that we went to arcade. till 11.30 we late again. he was lock outside again. I lend him a call to see whether his grandmother still awake ma.. answer is no.. so i decided to let him in again. and we played game for entire night

Sunday. We played computer since saturday till sunday's 11.30 am after that i went to sleep till 4. I saw his mum's message, warning me to ask bryant to go home. and i did. After that i went out to eat lunch. on the way. I was on the venge of breaking down after seeing the message. A brother who i recognise to be since primary school i need to break up this relationship. after that I went to protest, i against his mum... then i aguing with her mum till her mum come to beg me.. so i decided not to get bro in trouble so i decuded to help her. after that i hope things will close case..

that for all. I have a hard time for understanding this event.
till now i am still not happy. and hope bryant don't get in trouble..

for now i want a rest..

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-07-12T01:22:00.003+08:00

back for an update in late night.

I am not satifised with my life. cause its started again..

The prediction made a comeback for anyone..

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-07-05T00:46:00.004+08:00

The Destiny Plan

This is the plan that which have been executed for past 2 years. I now achieving a Nothing as result. Am i doing the right thing at right time?

Time passes and I am also start to understanding other people's point of view. maybe this is my fault. cause i don't understand what i am doing now. I am started to confuse with my own decision.

I am confused but doesn't mean that my decision is wrong. I am trying to handle things in my way cause i hate people interfering my business. its good that I gone to a extend for protecting someone..

I have a question.. What is FAITH. does this thing exist in the first place? i don't see it having in people's mind..

Well. I have last thing to say now..
|" If you want to protect something, then you must prepare to sacrifice your life for it."

..
...
....

that about all for now..

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-06-09T23:30:00.002+08:00

I understand that I have been a long time never post my blog.
so anyone know what is going on in the world. Its seems to be that its entering the chaostic era.

To my prediction I don't agree that world will ends at 2012. I expect that to drag on for a period of 60~70 years. That would be 2072~2082. Before that I predicted there will be having a Chaostic Era which is coming soon. I think would be 2015~2025

Chaostic Era is approachhing. No more peace will be expected.

That about my prediction.

These few weeks I am really vexed. What am I supposed to do now.
I have no answer for it.

..
...
....

That about all.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-05-23T18:04:00.003+08:00

Back to post.

This week is horrible. Everything is not going according to my plan. Well, its still ok for now.

Recently stupid conflict making my brain work more harder then before. Its I don't have any idea whats going on for long.

I would start the post by last friday.

Desmond, come to TGIF out of blue. No one can explain this. I don't understand why he must come and disturb all girls then he happy even my friends want to share food with me also wrong like that. he insist want to eat with her. ... well I got nothing to say. life seems so wrong when Angel want to drink with me. Desmond seems interested with her. Of course that Desmond is not me. Tiring week after alll hope next week will get better.

Thanks to Angel who willing to accompany drink Alcoholic drinks

ok that about it..

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-05-17T02:18:00.002+08:00

Back to post again.

I have tough week for past few days. I left undecided in almost in everything i does.

Sad enough, my thumb drive's all saved data is gone. cause the "worm" in school computer. DAMN it i have to redo everything. I think i have to backup every single file once again..

haiz, I drag my antivirus inside, portable msn, and Ccleaner.. sad case. for me

Seeya

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-05-05T00:15:00.002+08:00

Back to update.

Recently I bought an Acer Notebook at 1.3k plus a extended warranty for $300 and have some freebies. like

norman anti-virus

travel mouse

8GB thumbdrive

but make me fuck up is my school's computer have alot of virus and bug, its bugs my PSP memory card and 8GB thumb drive spoilt because of it.

so I decided to use my personal notebook to do project like java scripting and if possible CAD. [computer aided design].

My new laptop specification is

Window 7 Home premium

Intel i5 Processor 2.26GHZ

Nvida GeForece GT330 1GB graphic card. with Turbo boost to 2.27GB

LED screen 14 inches.

HDMI enabled

4GB RAM

good ba.

ok update later.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-04-22T21:30:00.002+08:00

Back to update.

Its been long time I ever update my blog le.

Guess what, I say I want to try the Student counsel at ITE. I told my advisor about it and willing to give us a shot. For once and for all, I taking it up giving a best shot it my life with friends at ITE.

Spending my days in ITE for past 2 week, there is something i must say, ITE is not as bad as you think, I am able to concentrate my Studies and I took up Electronics as my course.

I want to carry my legend as Cableman for future and now. I don't think that bad for me.

"D" is the Destiny where all come with I-M-P-U-L-S-E comes in me

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-04-13T00:16:00.001+08:00

深海的孤独

告诉我吧，什么是悲伤。。。。
如果闭上双眼就能逃避着悲伤
如果不知什么才是关怀
也许就无所谓什么受伤
可是就算怎么追思
也想不起来
那温柔的话语
在那已经流逝的过去岁月里
是谁在呼唤着呢
总有一天亲自找回那份悲伤时
我会珍惜这不在往复的现在
再也不要错过你了
在寂寞的彼方
一叶孤舟若隐若现
它装载着太多的叹息
在心之波涛中淡去
可又为何在这茫茫大海寻找着
那本不该奢望得到的关怀
一波未平，一波又起
命运之舟仍然在前行
在那看不到星星的夜空下
穿过波涛前行
就算前方仍旧一片漆黑
但我眼中只看得到你

时而风平浪静
在心之海底
一切归于安宁之所
我相信着总有一天
我们将共享着彼此的爱
总有一天
亲自找回那份悲伤时
我会珍惜这不再往复的现在
再也不要错过你了

Back to update.

Today is the first day of ITE in BukitBatok, rather boring....

Sign off here

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-03-25T12:15:00.005+08:00

Back to update.

Complicated that what i would says. Its been long time i ever see Complicated again. I will started off with Yuying and Desmond Incident.

Desmond Tan Jun Wei, 20, NS policeman, Currently Unknown job.

12/3/10.
Terry and Jerry plus me, Shinn. Are not happy with Aaron of its protection against Yuying. Terry initiated to ask Desmond out to settle matter. but it didn't seem to settle cause the Main character isn't there. So this matter posponed to next week..

19/3/10
Next week friday, Terry, Jerry and me meet up in arcade while Aaron coming with Yuying also. Desmond also appeared in the middle of no where. Desmond drag Yuying out for a talk, Aaron stopped them from talking 1 to 1. After that, I simply continue my game till 5.40pm. I sneak out from Arcade to meet Joycelyn for dinner. yet Joanna is not free so we cancelled dinner but changed to supper. I arrived at TGIF and start my pool game. Till they called me up in about 30mins after my missing. Together we set off to Jalan Bahar, FSCO Sport hall to start the event. some time later i heard that Aaron, Yuying, Desmond going out for food i think. Desmond Stop Aaron once again from interfering their talk. After their talk, Yuying changed her attitude against Aaron. After the event, I saw Aaron is in the bad mood. I didn't ask why.Joycelyn agree with me for VOLKA, she gave me the money, and I ask Aaron to buy cause of age limit. After he bought for me, Desmond Rush into 7-Eleven and demanding Volka from me, I immediate turn away from him and quarrel with him and walk off, walk to Joycelyn and Geoffrey for Supper. When they having supper, with a big group. I can't stand that whining from Desmond. So i just continue to play my game till the end of the supper. after supper, Joycelyn and me sent Irene home and wait for bus with her. Then we drink Volka in that bus stop. basicially i am not really happy wit what's happening. I won't go into details. after that Jerry called me and ask to go back to TGIF there slack, I didn't. Yet i recieved another call from Aaron and he come finds me at the bus stop which Joycelyn and I sents Irene home. Then Joycelyn ask Aaron do he jealous about Yuying and Desmond so close. He say Yuying is already his Ex, then I ask him when Do you all start. He replied 9 days again, Its mean 10/3/10. because of Desmond's talk to Yuying and Yuying ask for break up with Aaron... after that i went home with Aaron and joycelyn too.

23/3/10

This day I went fishing together with Terry and Jerry plus Aaron, Before fishing we go KFC and eat. Jerry told me about Yuying and Desmond's Incident. Cause his friend Samantha saw Desmond French Kiss Yuying. then Aaron don't believes. so we let it a rest.

yesterday, 24/3/10

Terry and Jerry ask me to go arcade after I fetch My Dear, Cindy home, I meet Aaron in sunshine place. and we go down together. Aaron and I hunt down for a CAMOE bus, and take 1 round. back to jurong point. Then we go arcade and meet terry and jerry. Then jerry meets Samantha and her friend in Arcade too and slack together Till the late night. when we sent Samantha and her friend home. We talk about the Yuying and Desmond French Kiss Incident. and We given the photo of them and she comfirm with it.
Finally clears up everything

This incident shows that complexity and Complicated level are very high. this is something that worth to learn to guard against a person who you have doubted him/her.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-03-15T00:24:00.002+08:00

Sorry, I just got some Freetime.

Back to update.

Recently i just got paid for the marigold's Promoter in feb, Its real slow but still happy to get paid in such crucial time. Just nice lack of money and its come.

Holy, Just gotten myself a entertaining equipment, That is PSP. Model is 3006 half moded i will wait for the crack.. its hard to get cracks..

ok udate till here.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-03-02T01:10:00.002+08:00

Back,

Today was diffcult. Forget to get Identification card. Lucky i can get in without it. Today Fixed up with 20 footer and 40 footer container for 70SGD. happy le la.

=) Today manage fetch Cindy home. Even though the process have problem. But worth it la.

After taken her home, I also went home to sleep. Cause exhuasted. Tired but worth it.=)

Till now the i update.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-02-28T22:22:00.002+08:00

Back to update.

Today was what the... day. Cause today have alot of things happened.. I agree that entire statement that Aaron and Yuying can't be together. Cause Yuying is blood sucker in the sense that Yuying is money sucker.

that kind of speed is disgusting fast. Faster then Expected. who agree with me?

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S.
Desmond
Shinn

2010-02-21T00:39:00.002+08:00

back to update.

After working for 2 weeks. i went back TGIF. sianz. my luck gone worse. fist ball in is white. never mind. still lose. That day I became blind man who can draw the best and fastest. swap names, to play. alot alot la.

I die die don't believe I can get so crazy...

now i help you to decode one of my friend's blog post.

( is it comming back? )

Oringinal :

Я помню дни Мои средней школы как сек 1..... до 5 сек! Ура! Я постоянно получает тип чувство, типа, где u чувствовать игнорируется. а несколько дней назад, я получил это чувство от ГД кассе. Она просто убивает настроение, накопленных с начала дня. Я не чувствую настолько особое относительно того, как другие думать о miie и типа глаза и язык тела пут miie в y идея. Ее серьезно грустно, он чувствует подобно как если.....? не нахожу слов разместить их дюймов, но его просто make miie ощущения в столь, так грустно.

Я помню, я клянусь самому себе, что я не может это сделать другим но я realise, его трудно. Y? cos некоторые люди просто слишком раздражающих или раздражает. Может быть я был игнорируются becos по этой причине, но что на земле сделать, чтобы они считают, что таким образом? ...

Translated:

I remember the days of my secondary school as sec 1.. ... up to 5 seconds! Wow! I constantly Gets the type of feeling type, where u feel ignored. a few days ago, I received this feeling of DG Kass. It kills mood, accumulated since the beginning of the day. I don't feel so particular about how others think about miie and the type of eye and body language put miie in y idea. Its deeply sad, he feels like as if ...? I cannot find words put them in., but simply make miie sense in so, so sad.

I remember I swear itself that I cannot do other but I realise, its difficult. Y? cos some people simply too irritating or annoying. May be I was ignored becos because of this, but what on earth do they feel that way? ...

( я готов? T: I Ready? )

Oringinal :

Действительно, я являюсь jus очень боятся, что мне будет падать в любви, а ее не худших, но я просто испугался сталкиваются с wats после confess. Я имею в виду теперь я в настоящее время имеют gf ни никому я любоваться, но его бояться вещь мне.

Я пришел apon этот экстерьер когда я пришел шале сегодня. Ура! Вы не считаем это, alot красивые девочки реальный довольно. Однако они представляется как в возрасте 23 ++ отсюда не шанс для 17 мальчик, как и я. haha! Я мышление, даже она находится в моем возрасте, если нам удастся stead, будет боюсь alot от вещей. Занимающихся будущих родителей в права, занимающихся ее родственники wat вещи Чат куда идти за outting, делать я устраивает ее? Зрелые принять этот вызов ли я? И что самое главное, я готов?

возможно его реальных, я очень страшное кошка, coward сталкиваются с tru люблю йа? но я знаю, что для меня самого, wat хочу, это реальный хорошие отношения, которые продлятся до тех пор, пока я являюсь замужем и у малышей и до я наконец умереть!

Translated :

Indeed, I am the jus too afraid that I would fall in love, and its not the worst, but I just scared face wats after confess. I mean now I currently have gf nor anyone I admire, but afraid vesch me.

I have come apon this conformation Chalet today when I came. Wow! You do not believe this, beautiful girls real quite alot. However, they appear as aged 23 + + hence not chance for 17 boy as j. haha! I thought, even it is in my age, if we can stead, will be afraid of alot of things. Dealing with the future parents in law dealing with her relatives wat things chat where to go for outting, do I satisfied with it? Mature challenges I? And most importantly, I'm ready?

may his real, I scary cat, coward face tru love ya? but I know that for myself, wat I want this real good relations until until I am married and have kids and before I finally die!

By LJD.

haha

2010-02-21T00:39:00.000+08:00

back to update.

After working for 2 weeks. i went back TGIF. sianz. my luck gone worse. fist ball in is white.
..

update later.

2010-02-04T03:36:00.002+08:00

Back to update

ITs been a long time i ever update my blog, because i am working for past few weeks.
I am working as promoter. Marigold promoter. for now i need a rest. updating later

Demonic Aura' Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-01-27T13:24:00.002+08:00

back to update my dead long ago blogger.

Its been time I update. I still have not have my posting results. I will still have to wait after 22nd FEB well, I think I have no choice but to wait.

I am waiting to work for 2 week also. exciting.. My first official working place is near my house.

Terry and violet have been force to break up. NO good reason to say more about them.

Is the chaos started?

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-01-23T02:11:00.001+08:00

wow, its been time i post anything on it..

recently busying with friends find jobs. running from west to east for extra cash.. no choice, CASH TIGHT.=)

ok stop crap, VIOLET love TERRY lei, stead bo. ..

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S.
Desmond
Shinn

2010-01-10T05:35:00.002+08:00

Back to update.

Past week I went back HKSS to help and assist them in P.A system in hall.
Basically I tour the entire place and its bigger then before.
New features in HKSS now is the ISH[Indoor Sport Hall] that place is sick, no ventilation at all.

Well tomorrow its my result day. To die or survive depends there.
Yesterday I looks back, its been 2 month.. I past it without any senses.

well finished updating.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2010-01-03T05:31:00.002+08:00

Back to update.

29th Dec, my last post in 2009.. Welcome 2010 and get suffered.

Today is Akira.C's Birthday. Nothing much to say.

Well. I am wondering what am I doing in these days.

never mind. share with you a joke.

GORRRRRR PUI!
the end

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2009-12-29T01:59:00.003+08:00

about 10 plus days never update le I think?

I recall back what I did these years. I still have wanted go back to the past, in past I can live in my carefree lifestyle. But now I don't think so I can do it anymore.

People grow older, What they longed for is the past. But, They also called us not to hold on tightly to the past.

what to do?

teach me....

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2009-12-17T04:23:00.002+08:00

back to update.

I am really tired in complicated life. What can I actually do? anyone give me a answer? now the sky starts to rains not really a big rain. Just some drizzling, its just like the shower, a while only.

Skys getting red as I not expected. But.. But.. I am seriously getting tired after serious.

Am I making the right decision of my life? Where is the goal for me now? Seems lost for me.. Lost... In no where. Just in my life.

Today, 7.30 I am going to report to Hong Kah Sec @ Jurong West St 42 yet I am not sleeping. I also feel strange of myself. Why sometime I can sleep in the night and why sometime I can't

Partly reason is to watch some movies before sleep and try to drain the energy that I have. But its seems fail.. I am still energetic...

This is something I am very very tired of.

If there is a word to describe my life, that word will be " Complicated "

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2009-12-14T00:21:00.003+08:00

Today, I am back for an update for now.

Today, I am thinking of the result of my action. I suddenly feel a reluctancy to move from present. What the hell am I doing ?

I am waiting for my book to rearrange. I tell you, I hate being subsituded as other things. That simple.

Now this holiday quite bored. I waiting for it.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Shinn

2009-12-11T03:38:00.002+08:00

Back to update.

I just back home for about a hour plus. I went back to Hong Kah yesterday I help to unload our items.

When I step back, I cannot recognise the interior, all the venues changes, its so different to that one that I Known.

By the year of sec 1 last training, I already knew that Hong Kah is going to renovate. I spend 3 years there, And now the memories is gone.

Its going to be new and nice. But I don't have the chance to use again. So sad. Jamie, Li Ping, Jia En, Jie Ying, Jeremy, Dexter, Ruba, Sharan, Wei Siong, Zhen Hong will be written into my history soon..

Its okay. Never mind after all. I just want to get together. that is so simple.

Ok, Got to go,

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S
Desmond
Takahashi Shinn

2009-12-07T02:25:00.002+08:00

back to update.

after so long, i tried to update.

My life start to step into confusion. I having been thinking alot.
I am tired, update later.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-12-01T22:51:00.003+08:00

Back to update.

I have questions wandering in my mind, 1 of it is, " No matter how nice the flower is, human will wipe then off. " But why?!

Never mind, I have been busy with chalet stuff as well as my personnal stuffs, I really feel so lonely for past few days, Even with people around me. Why I have this feeling? Its rather cold at night because its everything about myself.

Even I want to talk in the night, I talk to myself, Play with myself. DO things alone. Does that have purpose? I don't know.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond [ Shinn ]

2009-11-22T02:39:00.002+08:00

Back to update.

Today I spend my day with Yilong, This let me reminded of her sister's computer. My Microsoft is current unavailable to other unless its for currently installed with my code. So sorry other. But can borrow my Microsoft Office 2003 edition.

Okay, back to topic. Today I went long's house at about 2.30 and reached in about 10 mins later. I met his whole family and I also pack my lunch to his house, fixing his AVG anti-virus and place Counter-Strike for the remaining of the day till 7pm, we went for dinner together and talk till about 12 midnight. So I realise that 1 day's gone.

Reached home about 12.20 and start to watch movie and watch K.O 3an Guo. After that, Start to fix the blog links for long.

okay update till here, for the conversation, its a secret between us.

Demonic Aura's Elementl Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-11-20T01:37:00.002+08:00

Today, 20th of November, Symbolised the offical day of graduate.

Past years I have been thinking that when can I get out of that damn school as I hate being mocked, now its time to say good bye to secodary school.. The full stop is here. today at 9 am.

Wow past 5 years in seconday school that is really incredible, I never think that I can make it in sec 5 and now I already come to the end of the secondary school life.
these years I learn alot of things other then academic works. I learn how to take care of others, being a leader and many more. I also learn that not blind loyalty is good of us. Sometime if we have question just ask it.

The time now is 1.42am, Friday. I am planning for today's Special, and today I must fullfill my promise as a brother to my sisters. Today is also Anqi's birthday, Happy Birthday AnQi.

Time really flies past fast year by year, day by day. Don't regret whatever you done. Every thing have a price to pay like what I choosen to be. Started to feel regrets and pain. But what can I do? Let it go instead. It will be fine after sometime. But I never able to forget You.

Okay I have a music to share after all. Its from the Secret garden, " A Song From Secret Garden" if you have the time go listen it. =)

sign off,
Demonic Aura's Elemetal Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-11-16T02:41:00.002+08:00

Back to update,

Ok, basically today I didn't nothing much, I just went to factory to spend my day there...

But 11th Nov, The end of the GCE "O" Level Examination. Finally its over. But it will never end till that day you gets your own result. I told myself, No regrets. That the way of life. Don't you think so?

These few days strucked down by diseases, sickness, even injuries. I am lazy to update it because of injuries...

Basically have problem with cash-flow. Lack of cash to do whatever I wants. Wierd?
Today messaged to my elder sister who I respect the most. I told her what am I feeling and she does encourage me to go on. " Don't worry so much, After my attachment then we meet up. Earliest in December." I will wait for you Audrey jie.

I have some word for somethings. " Storm is over does not mean that it will not come again. " Now I having a doubt. This is something I can't explain... Basically I lost my phone as I know. I even asked Cindy to check for me. DON'T have!. Okay that fine, Then after I suspend my line after that day. Next day, It come out from my bag again. Anyone explain this? okok, got the worse one. My dad dream that my phone is with me all along.. ?! HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS!?

Quotes that I wrote yesterday,
" The hardest things in life is to live on and not die."
" When you walk, you will leave your foot step, If you climb, there will also be stairs"

ok I end up here.
Seeya

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-11-08T15:16:00.002+08:00

Broken by the power of a clenched fist
Desires and blood flow in the palm of my hand
Endless wings and chains suit me well
Their weight keeps me from going anywhere
With young eyes that have only seen loss
People think of stars that they won't be returning to

Making our respective lights
Bloom with our lives
Life is what transports us
Radiantly cut into everyone
Are gentle vestiges of scars

Even if it all ends, and I cry, I'll make my own relief
In order to forget about everything...?
Tomorrow falls from the sky like a feather
Even though I wake up from a painful illusion

If being hurt in delirium
Is how I say "I'm alive"
Then you are the undisappearing truth
Left behind, here
Are radiant and fleeting vestiges of us

Making our respective lights
Bloom with our lives
Life is what transports us
Radiantly cut into everyone
Gently

If being hurt in delirium
Is how I say "I'm alive"
Then you are the undisappearing truth
Left behind, here
Are radiant and fleeting vestiges of us

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-11-08T15:02:00.002+08:00

back to update..

I have lost my mobile phone temporary don't call me. Basically I lost all the phone numbers because i didn't backup.

I am now at Aaron's house. Using his PC to update blog. Hope I can take a new nice phone again..

Maybe I will update later.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-11-07T13:23:00.002+08:00

back to update.

I basically fliping through blogs and reading them. I just wanted to update something that long's feels as well as how I feels actually.

Yesterday,I called long ge for the summary of that meeting because I didn't attend. I called up long and ask him. But he told me he didn't stay long for the meeting as disagreement occurs. I can understand why it happens. What I wanted to says is " When do you consider for us. "

Its not anyone's fault. Its about understanding. Sometime I want them to come along but restriction is there. But I don't wish that your activity will affect our freedom please. Freedom and rights belong to us, we can't always do thing that suits you.

For now, I remember that Long says that what ever I says is current useless now. He have make some decision that will not worsen our relationships. Hope you understands.

Me as Meditator seems useless you understands. I need to listen to both side of stories. So that I can understand and help you all. I don't want this things to affect our relationships as brother for so long. YOU UNDERSTAND? ....

Ok I stops at here.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-11-04T21:11:00.002+08:00

Back to update a bit.

The major paper is over now. Finished English, E Mathematic, Combine Science ( left paper 1 ), Combine humanities and lastly Design and technology.

Even I feel lighter after these important paper. But the loneliness in me is still ..... ..... I feel that emptiness..

Tomorrow, I assist my CCA to pack up back to Hong Kah Sec... waking up early.

Update till here.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-11-01T06:08:00.002+08:00

Back to update.

As expected what has happened already happened. What can I do? Basically nothing at all but to stand with it.

The time now is 6:09AM 1 November, Say good bye to october and welcome November. Soon the exam will be over after 10 days. Its good that English and Mathematic papers are over. I don't have the fear for it anymore.

I don't know where is the direction to life. What is good for me, what is not? What is the something that I want to see. I can say its not the dawn but the dusk. Dusk, to me it symbolise the end of the day, loneliness enter my body and stay within me. I am used to it already....

Yesterday have a heart to heart talk with YiLong. Feels good after that.. I expected more things will happen soon...

ok update till here...

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-10-24T14:43:00.002+08:00

back to update.

Left a few days of suffering soon I will be deciding what to do next. I am sick and tired of the play. Creative please, Seriously I think this is really childish. Arrowing people is the prove that you are weakling. Avoiding is not being weak or what, it just only trying get something up over time and see.

After looking at yesterday, real disappointment pity the in-charge. Nevertheless I think I will help as long as I am free.

Yesterday night I recalled something 等价交换原则。 This term come from one of my friend told me. Its mean Equal-trade Principal. You want something from anyone, you have to trade with him. Satisfaction is needed in this terms. I don't know why I recalled this term.

ok, I update till here.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-10-24T00:48:00.000+08:00

Few more days to important days.

How I wish to end it up faster and continue my life.

Nothing much to say, watching K.O 3anguo later.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.

D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-10-08T15:39:00.004+08:00

back to update.

I facing a question. That is should I or should not. I will write the basic information here. I am still thinking.

Everything start with Irene hurts Bryant. After we broke up, my brother ask me do I still like Irene. My reply is, Even I have the feeling, I think I have already numb. Bryant confess about his love to Irene, I didn't object but ask him to work harder.

Till a day I know he was rejected because WeiPerng. Initially I don't care that much, out of curiousity I asked Irene," Didn't you subsititue me as Wei Perng as well?" She replied " yes" . This is the cause of that forbidden plan.

Till certain time later. I notice that She went out with a filrt and I am not so happy with it. So in the name of my brother, I decided to help him gain justice. But Bryant ask me to stop and I heel his advice. So I hold back that plan and give her 1 ordeal. but she still didn't take it seriously.

Recently Problem Arised. Junstin who is also my enemy ask me for ally to against Them, Aaron asked me in but I have to consider for bryant.. But before that I already launch that forbidden plan and stopped by bryant. He told me not to do anything to her, So I decide to let him decide for irene.

I already have a plan but... no confidence that sure win... My problem starts here. What to do now.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-10-04T01:50:00.006+08:00

对着酒，应该唱歌。
人生就像清晨露水，
还能多久呢？
过去的时光已足够，
过去以往忧愁。
我却只能一杯接着一杯。
因为你不懂的个性，
我们无止境的猜忌还要多久呢？
过去的时光还不够，
忘记爱恨情仇，
我却只能一杯接着一杯。
想起了你，
就像一段明月，
不知什么时候才能再霸久夜晚。
我为你奔波为你伤，
你怎么躲我爱。
孤单单让这首诗歌，
在无注掌声。
白色的月让黑夜不再黯了，
少了星星的陪伴它跟显得凄凉。
我为你奔波为你伤，
我就让你我爱，
等待你有一刻会想我

Facing wine, I should be singing,
Life is just like the morning dews.
But can carry on for how long?
Enough of unforgetable memories,
Enough of the regrets and sadness,
I only can start drinking.
Because of your naive,
Our endless guessing have to continue for how long?
The past memories is not enough,
Not enough to forget the love, hatred and everything,
But what I only can do is drinking.
Being reminded of you,
You are just like the moon.
Don't know when I can enjoy the night longer?
I am willing to protect you no matter what.
Why are you hiding from me?
The loneliness of this song,
In the silent crowd.
The brightness of this moon cause the night are not so dark.
But the lack of stars causes this moon to seems so lonely
I willing to do what ever even losing my life.
Just wanting you to think of me....

Ok back to topic,
Come back to update my self.

Yesterday is my Lunar Birthday also my aunt's wedding anniversary. Hope they doing fine after so many years. So long I have thinking of them...

Hope everything could be fine for me in the future....

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-09-30T22:39:00.002+08:00

Back to update,

Really really thanks alot Ella, 谢谢. Now the life like meaningless without fun.

Planning alot of stuff for the end of year like crazy, I have alot things to do for now.

updating maybe after O as 20++ day more only

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-09-27T23:50:00.002+08:00

I happen haven't sleep yet, come back to check on the blog.

Today was the worse day I ever have, feeling so lonely. I think I going to fail all my subject in my prelims, not sure what I have target, I lost my goal. Ending up asking myself this question today. " Why am I living down here, since I have no target, what am I down here? "

This is my question for the day. Till now I still cannot answer it because I personnally also don't know what I want. Later part in the day was horrible, me and my father bought a defected goods yesterday. By right today I should go back and ask for a change. I reach there at about 5.40pm and my dad tell the lady casher that this good have defect. The lady immediate reply my dad " Uncle ar, you good is bought long ago yesterday that you bought one are red colour lei." My father says that she is not hornest with the way that she deal her business and not given us a change. I already turning crazy by that time. Holding a defensive method. She ask for proves that good is from her shop. I took out another good which also bought from that shop. She claim that good is not from her shop, I was already very furious. I going to kill her I think.

We go out to another store tender who is the only guy. He told my dad not to shout and change for us. After the exchange of goods the lady not happy with it, say again. " Really what, that good was bought long ago why change for them." I finally cannot take it, I say:" Say what? " " Its your good that you should recongise for a day." I said in the quite loud voice. After that she call me go out talk. Saying that I very rude my dad never shout at her I shout. My reply was simple. " Dan Tian strong enough that why I speak loud. She say me stare at her and I purposely stare her as she is short. Keep poking at me and point at me till I nearly lost control of anger. I also point her and she twist my finger. She also say I only starting to step into society. Moron, who give her the right to judge me. She also claim that she respect, my dad ask her to shut up she didn't. I reply her," my dad say shut up you never listen what kind of respect you giving him. Plus your defect good and your attidude that given me your natural behavior." Bitch <- I am think to my self.

Keep using police to threaten me, what she take me for? Never mind She dare not reply me and walk into the store again.

What a bitch I thought to myself. Never mind la . Hope she don't have good business for yelling me, I will make you pay

updating later in the day.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-09-27T01:52:00.002+08:00

Back again,

After been so long I never update, I happen to see my blog again. Decided to update it a bit.

Facing all kind of problem everyday, every night. I come to an solution, I will currently concentrate more on study then relation ship.

haha,

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-09-20T00:42:00.004+08:00

Back to update and make changes to long's blog.

Today, I look back at my blog, I starting to understand DESTINY this word. Its a really amazing things that is unknown to the world.

Dictionary's meaning of Destiny.

Des | ti | ny
Destiny/Destinies

1, A person's destiny is everything that happens to them during their life time, uncluding what will happen in the future, especially when it is considered to be controlled by someone or something else.
We are masters of our own destiny
N-Count = fate

2, Destiny is the force which some people believe controls the things that happen to you in your life.
Is it the destiny that brings people together, or is it accident
N-Uncount = fate

My own meaning of Destiny.

Destiny is nothing, its just something that exist but no one ever saw him/her before. Destiny decides the way that we life, we act. Its decide way before your birth. Destiny have been with human since the earth started.

So what is your meaning of destiny.

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-09-15T23:41:00.002+08:00

Back for updating.

Toady is my Prelim, ( Chemistry and Physic Practical. ) it was the most bad day because start at noon. It is tiring of course, never the less I still have to make it. but i doubting all the way with my answer. Some says Zinc Carbonate. I get Iron(III) Carbonate.

Never mind anyway, tomorrow see how.

2009-09-12T05:54:00.000+08:00

I am back,

I feeling so down, I really feels that I am getting useless and useless again. Things are so near.. Yet looking far.. What am I thinking now. WHAT AM I THINKING NOW. I learn to be independent, yet I wish that I can find someone who I can depend on.. I am getting to scare of being alone, I want to live on but no any hope for me. What am I think now.

I understand why I am nocturnal now. I don't wish for tomorrow's arrival, I want to keep the present and not becaming a past. Everyday pass quickly, so fast that I didn't even had the time to do what I wanted to do. I have NO TIME. Just to prepare my O Levels, My health once again drop into the bottomless pit. Again and again, I ask myself what am I trying to show? What am I trying to accomplish? What am I doing?

Day by day pass, I am still stood down there with no target. I wanted to have a peace, love, care, time. None of them actually I manage to get it. Why am I like this? WHY WHY WHY !!!!!!

Sept 10, My big day, in fact nothing at all. Birthday supposed to celebrated with friends. Mum told me when I am small, There is no need to celebrate, I also didn't want to say much. But this year I do expect I have someone accompany me.. I have enough, Nothing much to change it anymore.

This year I don't have anything to hope for except for her. Just you.

不知不觉十七年已过，自己要的是什么我自己也不了解我为什么变得这样。
过得好痛苦，但我已经没退路了，走下去吧。

From that Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-09-02T00:36:00.002+08:00

I am back to updating something.

Today i was in one of the bad shape. I didn't have the mood to do anything, just come out to buy stuff that helps the other to change her life better.. Life never been good to me before. No matter how much I does in front of anyone to others it was a act.

Considering to step to half demon's way, that why I never say that I am normal.

Today Cindy called me out for a walk as well as to buy things for her aunt. Of course I am okay because today I didn't have much things to do. Home watching videos wasn't good way for life but no choice. So Cindy called me out meet at jurong point's FairPrice Xtra. haiz i take a round in the entire jurong point and saw sherlyn at jurong point 2. One look I know what is up in her mind. I am not stupid, I also do something to her also. Cause I don't believe her.

After Cindy goes back, I am also thinking something. Its her care that show me that way of protect. I also want to protect someone in her life. J**** you should know that I love you alot. I want to protect you with my life. Can I?

45 mins passed 2nd September I feel nothing except sad and cold.

Can I Love You?

From that Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-08-30T03:07:00.001+08:00

Today, I decided to tell you about my life story..

I learn dialact since I am small, age of 2. I used to get very good marks for Kindergarden's test as I always well prepared. In the year 1998 K2, one of the math test that I fail badly. I get lot and lots of caning.. Caning from day to night.. Leaving scars obviously in my body. One look you can tell its from the cane. She will just whack and whack because I fail my exam.. This continues about 3 month because everytime she saw me she was reminded with my fail marks. At that time I dare not defiance. But finally I manage to get a good test score to stop my pain a little bit. My mum have this rule of everything also 100% then okay. Even you are the highest mark or have the highest score and you have mistake in your exams you will get whack also. So? This is called life at first.

At the year 1999, I was in Coporation Primary school Class 1.3 (PM Session) started with the testing brain power and so on and so for. Then we learn the things basic english and other subject. Everyday doing home work untill late night.. the question comes back to me. " is this what a life should be? " that was the year that I met Bryant who is still my brother now. I know that I cannot make it with that kind of stress. I never face the world before. I hope that I can do the test like last time. Get the best mark or at least a pass rather then suffer the pain. In the end I still failed. I get the fail mark. History repeats agains, by its self.

Primary 2 ( AM Session ) was the year that i gets very close with bryant. As usual I don't like to be forced to work. always never take breakfast and go school. and as usual I get whack for the entire year. I still remember that time there is this idiot guy that called me fat pig. Yes i was fat last time, he called me this way and i not happy with it. so i decided to use my weapon BITE HIM. Mr Ooi the OM also knows about me. called my mother in, my mum keep say sorry to that bastard and whack me infront of them. I lost my Self Esteem from there onward

Primary 3 ( PM Session )This years start of my freedom. I learn to step out of my door step first time. Get to go out for 1 hours was like very happy. this year remembered that I have the worse teacher Mr Roslan who is a PE teacher and also DM my life start to toll as day pass. This is also a year that I never smile before. Not even my birthday, in fact that I still don't know when I borned. This year have alot of trouble finds me. I would describe it as "Bees over the Honey". You understands? hope so. This year also start to move to new school building at 10th NOV 2001

Primary 4 The chaostic year. As I have indicated above I still get whack for nothing even in this age, I have alot wound. I remember that my form teacher is Mrs Karen Lee she was the best teacher that interested me in her teaching of maths. That year i do have a better result compared to the other years in school. I get the best improving award that year. I also getting closer to bryant.. This year shows me alot of sides of life. I was shock to know that I have this GOD BROTHER named Desmond Koh. My dad give him a red packet every year which consist of $180 no matters what whereby I HIS BLOOD SON ONLY GETS $24 FOR THE BLOODDY CHINESE NEW YEAR'S RED PACKET I don't undetstand this, Is he the biological son or I am the Biological son? I will be very frank to you. I NEVER STEP INTO ZOO, BOTANIC GARDEN, BIRDPARK, SENTOSA, OR WHAT EVER YOU CAN THINK OF, with both parent.. They do took picture.. but all with KOR NOT ME!!!! I have 1 thought came into my mind:" Who am I supposed to be? A bastard? Why all Picture taken with kor and not me!!!! WHY???" Can Anyone tell me why?!!!. IS MY BIRTH BRING THEM UNLUCKYNESS?? TELL ME WHY!!!!!!!" I cannot imagine this, Why ME? As usual I never smile in this year before... Every time I see kor I will have the angry to kill him.. This is the year that I turn Violent. Everything i Gets into fights was unstoppable. then Bryant will come and assist me..

Primary 5 (2003) the worse year. I am in EM2 anyway. Sad things is.. I have a bad form teacher. She thinks that she is so good that always order me around. same as in primary 6 (2004). when everyone is preparing for PSLE I was standing outside of the class for half a year with no entry to class. I sit outside and think.. I think I should use spell to settle her. and i did. her facial condition was getting worse day by day.Of course I still hate my parent yet i get the T-Score for PSLE is 165. The worse saddest things is Bryant is leaving boonlay and moved to ang mo kio

(2005)I proceed on with the PSLE T-Score of 165 to Hong Kah Secondary school Class 1N2.. some stupid idea come to me to accept my worse night mare. Tian Rong. and we break off very fast. see how my life? bad ar? WE have a history of chasing teachers out in 2nd week and DM all come in and principal, form teachers too. I also meet the bastard terry, jerry and seck hong, some conflict happens abut my loss of money and we keep our distance far fromn that day til now and very soon 1 year pass

(2006) SEC 2 under Mdm Tan Linda class 2n3 haha, best year in my life. I start to learn to smile again, Seck hong ar, Jiada, Yilong, Jeremy, zi yang all in this class and we made it to sec3 with some fantastic results this year we have very little problem and like that 1 year passes again.

(2007) Sec3 N2 I thought that Mdm Tan is not my form teacher again.. and out of suprise she followed us up we spend alot of time with her and she was the best science teacher and as well as Physic Teacher.. its a sad things that she resign her job and be mummy. Let me wish her all the best =D. My course was Design and Technology. This was the year that I was with Vinly Chin Shi Lin and have some good and bad time also.. and about 9 onth we broke off.

(2008) Sec4 N2 By right our form teacher should follow up with us.. its was sad at first. Form teacher was Mdm Chuah Poh Bee Lisa. she was not a bad teachers also. She teacher us how to 1 for all, all for 1 .. Run. haha.. I thought that this was a starting of my good years because i do have thinking of going ITE.. but in the end i score a 9 pointer and come back as sec 5 student. End of year we have a BBQ and i nearly admited to hospital because of not fully cook food. This year Aug 12 I was with Irene Ker Yu Xiu. we also together for 8 month till 2009's april

(2009) This year Sec 5N2 have a good time with some of my friends I broke off with irene at April this year and lead a lonely life. This year my Little sister Audrey come into my life. due to some bastard our life was interfered but now its okay again. This year AUG i found out that someone who moves me by her true hearts .. she is a secret i will not say is who.. This year we having O level. In mid year i get B4 and merit for O level chinese. haha not that bad, but still get scolded i should have a A2 de. never mind i retaking... end of my 16 years of meaningless life story. it a secret that i don't want much people to know. decided to write it here. ***** I will still love you.=D i will do what ever i promised you. Trust me!

From that Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer

D.A.E.S

Desmond sign off

2009-08-23T23:52:00.002+08:00

I am back to update a little bit.

I gotten by GCE "O" Level Examination's result.. B4 and get a Merit for Oral.
"Its the worse performance I ever done" said by a teacher who I respect her. But Why I became in this stage? why? I also don't understand.

I started to understand something.. I have been living in the worse and chaostic world that i borned in . The world have really changed alot. I start to understand the feeling of " Love the past, Hate the future ." I really hate the current situation now. Also at the same time regrets something's happen.

I am now one of the Demonic Aura's Elemental Socerer [ Leader ] But what i gain after all is the skill of prediction.. ability to stop certian things but what i ultimate wanted is the care, love, and attention only..

i think i need some time to think about this, let talk about it later.

I am also happy that Audrey my younger sister not angry with me anymore. but also sad at the same time. I think Its time for me to hide inside the my world .. haha..

updating later in the month..

Demonic Aura's Elemental Sorcerer.
D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-08-04T18:32:00.001+08:00

Starting weeks of the august, I have nothing much left and spending time with sister.

Currently getting some interest in classical music which make my mood changes from tense to relaxing mood. 1 month plus to O level. I have no fear, I know I can't make it. I have mentally prepared for the worse.

I am quite ok with my life. I lost some sparks that make my life look colourful. But its okay. I have nothing much to say

D.A.E.S
Desmond

2009-07-19T02:23:00.005+08:00

Back to update in the night.

The day before, things were not that bad before.. Me, Jeremy, Yi Long, Jia Da went for a drink in the night. Before that me and Jeremy have a race and training in our initial D skills. We went playing it because Aaron want to find us. I also arranged Aaron want to challenge us, With his GDB [Subaru Impreza WRX] yet he didn't turn up.

then we go on together and walk to Gek Poh and reach there about 5 plus I think. We gone in to Prime Supermarket and walk into the Shopping Center for Arcade and I played a round at the Arcade. After that we gone waiting.. Watiting.. and Wait till 8.30pm till we meet.

We meet at Gek Poh's Coffee Shop and take our drink. then we move on to buy milk. and went to carpark to drink. At that time, I didn't take nither Lunch nor dinner. Milk were my source of energy. So I drink alot. At the top of multi storey carpark we went talking non-stop from Poly course to religons. After that we carry on to walk and walk to long there for prata but disappointed no more left. We end up sitting in the playground near long's house and ask question of each others. then we went to bus stop there to wait for bus and ends my day off.

Before this happens. I mean at thursday, I do ask you out for my final dinner. Where were you. Where were you when I want to see you for the last. Never mind. I already know its too late. that why I ask you at friday say that only Aaron know where am I for the day. Plus I already know what you says is all a Lie. I try to believe to crease my disappointment. Never the less. I already know that you have no meaning to see me. Its okay I have been taking alots and alots of pain. So what does this count.
you said that you never leaves me even I want to die before. In fact that you have ALREADY left. Sorry, What does a word sorry can crease everything that is wrong? and hurt?. At friday you know why I don't want to see you? Because you have already tell me that my existance is a GUILT. I decided to leave after all. Destiny plan have planned since 2008 june. Now this point of time which is so critial where are you? I want to see you for the last time is on Thursday which I want to have my final dinner and you said is okay before. I believe in a "Promise?" that never happen. Am I right? Thursday is a NOT FREE DAY.. With all kind of excuse I can think off. I know my EXISTANCE is a GUILT. Never mind... I will carry on my sorcerer life and get lost out of you life.

Today is Sunday. I tell you the answer. I will leave no matter what. You see me and you feel guilty. Let me die wasn't better? No more of facing Guilt. This battle I have stand a chance to win. I will still leave. Because I have already Lost hope, trust, faith, friends, confidence, soon will be family. happy? My last wish overall is to forget about me, forget about my existance, forget about all the spell, forget all about me. Since I have this as my Destiny. Alone with Destiny plan.

From that D.A.E.S
Desmond.

2009-07-13T00:20:00.001+08:00

Hi,back to update.

today, I want to talk about my plan, Destiny Plan.

Human's destiny is a quest. This need to solve life's mysteries. In the end, what does it matter when the human heart can only find meaning in the smallest of moments of joy? Demons are here. Among us. In the shadows. In the light. Everywhere. Do they trying to taking our life, our place to keep their survival?

Our lives as Sorcerer, its not so simple. We are willing to sacrifice whatever we have to save people. Who am I actually saving?... I have did my best to execute this plan that will cost my future, life, hope. So what everthing that I have done, does it have a sense behind it, or purely wanting to die?... I really have enough of it.

Its time that I talk about myself, Who am I here? anyone answer me this please.
I am just another Human who want to find his meaning in his life...

What am I doing? Who am I? Or rather What Am I? I keep losing trust, love, faith, even friends and confidence that I used to have.. Who am I now. Why am I like that? I also have no idea. Just feeling upset for this...

I wanted to leave this world quietly.. But can I?

I have reached into a stage that I feel very depressed. For certain reason that I don't want to share.

I thinks its time to leave, and say good bye to this world

Painful to continue this live, I should leave this world, I cannot take it anymore, its time to leave, Good bye?

好痛，我到底是不是该离开这世界，我受不了。是时候走了，再见？

From the D.A.E.S

Desmond here.

2009-07-13T00:13:00.002+08:00

Vestige by T.M. Revolution

握った拳の　強さで砕けた
願いに血を流す掌
果てない翼と鎖は　よく似て
重さで何処にも行けずに
失くすばかりの　幼い眸(ひとみ)で
人は還らぬ星を思う

掲げたそれぞれの灯を
命と咲かせて
運んで往くことが運命
輝き刻む※
誰もが優しい刻の痕跡

終わって泣いても　代わりを作って
総ては忘れる為に在る…?
明日が　空から降る羽のような
覚めて切ない幻でも

夢中で傷つく事を
「イキル」と云うなら
消えない　君だけが真実
残して　此処に
眩しく儚い僕らの痕跡を

掲げたそれぞれの灯を
命と咲かせて
運んで往くことが運命
輝き刻む
誰もが優しく

夢中で傷つく事を
「イキル」と云うなら
消えない　君だけが真実
残して　此処に
眩しく儚い僕らの痕跡を

Nigitta kobushi no
tsuyosa de kudaketa
Negai ni chi wo nagasu tenohira

Hatenai tsubasa to
kusari wa yoku nite
Omosa de doko ni mo ikezuni

Nakusu bakari no osanai hitomi de
Hito wa kaeranu hoshi wo omou

Kakageta sore zore no hi wo inochi to sakasete
Hakon de yuku koto ga unmei
Kagayaki kizamu daremo ga yasashii tsuki no kizuato

Owatte nai demo
kawari wo tsukutte
Subete wa wasureru tameni aru

Asu ga sora kara furu hane no youna
Samete setsunai maboroshi demo

Muchuu de kizutsuku koto wo ikiru to iu nara
Kienai kimi dakega shinjitsu
Nokoshite koko ni mabushiku hakanai boku nado ato wo

Kakageta sore zore no hi wo inochi to sakasete
Hakon de yuku koto ga unmei
Kagayaki kizamu daremo ga yasashiku

Muchuu de kizutsuku koto wo ikiru to iu nara
Kienai kimi dakega shinjitsu
Nokoshite koko ni mabushiku hakanai boku nado ato wo

Broken by the power of a clenched fist
Desires and blood flow in the palm of my hand
Endless wings and chains suit me well
Their weight keeps me from going anywhere
With young eyes that have only seen loss
People think of stars that they won't be returning to

Making our respective lights
Bloom with our lives
Life is what transports us
Radiantly cut into everyone
Are gentle vestiges of scars

Even if it all ends, and I cry, I'll make my own relief
In order to forget about everything...?
Tomorrow falls from the sky like a feather
Even though I wake up from a painful illusion

If being hurt in delirium
Is how I say "I'm alive"
Then you are the undisappearing truth
Left behind, here
Are radiant and fleeting vestiges of us

Making our respective lights
Bloom with our lives
Life is what transports us
Radiantly cut into everyone
Gently

If being hurt in delirium
Is how I say "I'm alive"
Then you are the undisappearing truth
Left behind, here
Are radiant and fleeting vestiges of us

2009-07-04T02:06:00.001+08:00

Starts of the July, 1 Question for myself.

According to my bad health can I really Execute The Destiny Plan of mine???

This is quite bad, My Spine's Injury is getting from bad to worse, I have also diffculties of breathing air. There is tightness in my chest that make me suffer for so long. I can act as nothing, Who knows what I thinking.

There is one good question for everyone: " If someone did wrong in the past, do you give him/her a chance or just sentence him/her to death? "

I was labeled for the "Sentence to Death" is always me... No one other then me. Lost everything is Simple, Gain it back is tougher then losing. I lost my hope, health, and the one who I want to meet the most.

Life goes on no matters how tough, even I falls is also normal for now. No care, No concern from anyone I also okay with it. Just that I cannot stand the feeling of losing things and people again, Stong prediction that I will lose someone again..

Is this my life? Nothing else to say much
See yea

D.A.E.S.
Desmond
( Shared a Music at the bottom of this post.)

2009-07-04T01:49:00.004+08:00

This is that I want to share.

You are not alone. Rest in peace, Michael Jackson

Another day has gone (时间一天又一天的过去)
I'm still all alone (我依然孤身一人)
How could this be (怎么可以...)
You're not here with me (你怎么可以不在我身边)
You never said goodbye (你说过永不分手)
Someone tell me why (谁能告诉我为什么)
Did you have to go (你要离开我)
And leave my world so cold (把我一个人留在这个冷酷的世界)
Everyday I sit and ask myself (每天我都在不断的问自己)
How did love slip away (为什么爱情离我而去)
Something whispers in my ear and says (这时耳边有个声音轻轻对我说)
That you are not alone (其实你并不孤独)
For I am here with you (因为我一直陪在你的身边)
Though you're far away (虽然你离我很远)
I am here to stay (我都会一直在这里等着你)
For You are not alone (你并不孤独)
I am here with you (我会永远陪着你)
Though we're far apart (虽然我们相隔千山万水)
You're always in my heart (但是你永远都在我心里)
And You are not alone (你不孤独)
All alone lone (孤独,孤独)
Why, oh (为什么,oh~~~)
Just the other night (曾经的一个夜晚)
I thought I heard you cry (我仿佛听到你哭着对我说)
Asking me to come (希望我来到你身边)
And hold you in my arms (拥你入怀)
I can hear your prayers (我听到了你的祷告)
Your burdens I will bear (我真的心甘情愿为你承担一切)
But first I need your hand (只要你牢牢抓住我的手)
So forever can begin (我们永远都不要再分开)
Everyday I sit and ask myself (每天我都在不断的问自己)
How did love slip away (为什么爱情离我而去)
Something whispers in my ear and says (这时耳边有个声音轻轻对我说)
That you are not alone (其实你并不孤独)
For I am here with you (因为我一直陪在你的身边)
Though you're far away (虽然你离我很远)
I am here to stay (我都会一直在这里等着你)
For You are not alone (你并不孤独)
I am here with you (我会永远陪着你)
Though we're far apart (虽然我们相隔千山万水)
You're always in my heart (但是你永远都在我心里)
And you are not alone (你不再孤独)
Oh~~~
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin' (只要你轻轻地说那三个字,我就会奔向你)
Fly... (飞快地...(奔向你))
And girl you know that I'll be there (女孩,你要知道我会永远守候着你)
I'll be there (永远....)
And You are not alone (你不孤独)
I am here with you (我会永远陪着你)
Though you're far away (虽然你离我很远)
I am here to stay (我都会一直在这里等着你)
And You are not alone (你不孤独)
I am here with you (我会永远陪着你)
Though we're far apart (虽然我们相隔千山万水)
You're always in my heart (但是你永远都在我心里)
You are not alone(You are not alone) (你不孤独)
For I am here with you(I am here with you) (因为我一直陪在你的身边)
Though you're far away(Though you're far away) (虽然你离我很远)
I am here to stay(And you with me) (我都会一直在这里等着你)
For you are not alone(You're always) (你并不孤独)
In my heart.....For I am here with you (因为我会一直陪在你的身边)
Heart.....Though we're far apart (虽然我们相隔千山万水)
Heart.....You're always in my heart (但是你永远都在我心里)
For You are not alone (你并不孤独)
Not alone (不孤独)
You are not alone, you are not alone... (你不孤独......)
You just reach for me girl (因为你是我的女孩)

2009-06-29T23:23:00.002+08:00

Back to posting,

I have do what I promise you brother. I let her to have choice and carry on whatever she says, with condition.

Bryant, according to my current health condition, I am really like having half dead effect.

I choosen this path to next eclipse hope you can come back soon.. Don't leave me in silent again.

Today is the first day, after taking a look on the time table, its was a tough day for me. Morning having a tempreture taking at gate, 10 min later take again at clas.. terrible Swine Flu..

Nothing much I can say about.
Seeyea

2009-06-20T16:46:00.009+08:00

以战止战（东城卫/脩）

我们为谁而战，逃不了，那你争我夺的恶性循环
我们有为谁而活，这一秒，多少希望瞬息间烟消云散

汗水在热焰蒸发，把泪光葬在乱世的滥觞
就放浪形的厮杀，你倒下由我来扛，共患难去闯

正义在沦陷，世界需要救援，下一战，有多少阻碍等待我来解
直到黎明来临之前，烧尽尘埃落叶，一整夜，以战止战的轮迴的终结~

当黑夜降临夜幕低垂的时候视线只能看见那个残酷杀霚的背后
多少人多少梦魂断万人塜听我说 Justice Just For All

当曙光乍现黎明来临的时候回头只能看见塌过硃砂遍地的深红
多少业多少错征战四方千年过跟我说 Justice Just For All

正义在沦陷，世界需要救援，下一战，有多少阻碍等待我来解
直到黎明来临之前，烧尽尘埃落叶，一整夜，以战止战的轮迴的终结~

2009-06-18T18:00:00.000+08:00

What I want to say is....

Bryant is my brother.. He is my closest brother.. I have another brother also.. named Desmond Koh. why 2 Desmond have different surnames?
I tell you why.. Desmond Koh is my god brother that is my father and mother's god son.. elder then my at least by 7 years. This started with Bryant want to know about my stead last time.. named Irene.. After sometimes I quarrel with Irene and cause a break in our relationsips. This time my brother called me and scream at me because of Irene.. I think its that time that Bryant likes Irene. After so long. Bryant called me out, asking me to go out, he also apologised and I also accepted his apology. I remember that he tells me that he like Irene and ask me whether I still have any feelings towards Irene. I said no..

He does tells Irene that he likes her. I know that Irene loves his brother, Woei Perng... this does breaks Bryant heart how am I going to do.. And this time is very near to Irene's Birthday.. So Bryant ask me what she like. I replied, Blue stuff, example Blue rose, teddy bear and some cute stuff. What he do was buy a gift according to my recommendation and bought her something I don't know. I guess something happened, something happened that I don't know. I know on Irene's Birthday that day. I called bryant and ask where is he.. He said that he is at Jurong point, Mini toons choosing a gift for her. I also told him that I coming to find him and accompany him, I know something happened according to my prediction. I accompany him and find Irene, with a guide from one of my friend and bring us to her.

She was shock to see me.. I have my own mission that is to protect Bryant and safe guard him.. I told him that later we go play initial D my aim for this game is to relax his mind.. and concentrate on the game. Even this works but what happened in the night in the main cause of his leave. In the night, we go TGIF which is a youth club .. I didn't want to go in and see because the person that I hate the most is inside so I choose to stay outside of that place. I listening to his PSP's song and make me recall the days that we have and reminded me that he is leaving also.. This make me drop my tears and my brother found it out. He says that he don't like another guy go very near to Irene.. I know from his look. He is angry with it. I was able to fake a smile and continue my mission. After that days ends, me and Bryant went to jurong point we talks about what happened and I have executed the that advancement of revenge as you already know. I told him what I going to do and he ask me to stop.. I willing to stop the advancement for Bryant if he still in Singapore..

On the day, 16th June this year. I was shock to hear that his leave. Very very shocked, but I cannot recover with this wound. When his Msn on for that day, the person replied me in msn is his cousin. he says.. " Bryant looks sad when he leaves, he cried for a girl, he only took his clothes and nothing else. not even his precious PSP and Handphone." this has a very clear meaning of making the clear cut of singapore. I download one of his song to remember him, that is Gundam Seed Destiny, Ignited Piano Version.. I cannot simply recover this wound, He was my brother since primary 1 and have lost contact for 2 years. that is after PSLE and Sec 1 this 2 years I never see him, untill a day he decide to find me in his own... He remembers where i lives he come and find me and I meet him at my lift and we bang on each other... that how I get to contact with him again.. But now, he's gone.. Who am I to be now.. I just became like this what I know from his mouth is, he is not coming back again. and he leave for his japan....

Sorry, I am not a good person that can protect everyone..

2009-06-17T19:06:00.004+08:00

Back to post..

I have lost everything perhaps? Where is my brothers when I need them most..
Bryant left us with a sound, why left without a sound. You have promised me that will not leave so fast.. Where is your promise gone to.. WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I decided to change this suituation brother.. I decided to advance and just do whatever to revenge for your leave.. I will help you, bryant.. I think nothing much I can do just assist you with your plan that I last carried out..

And I'm just down, you leave me without any note and any sound. Why you want to do this to us. Where is our trust.. WHERE!!!!!!!!!!! Where!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been sleepless for past few weeks as my prediction tells me that I will lose everything.. Now, my nightmare comes true.. I wish everything for you for the comming to you are the best... don't forget me..

byebye.. and hope to see you again.. somewhere when i dies?

2009-06-05T23:18:00.002+08:00

Back to update.. I really really want to attend the last camp at Hongkah.. Sad things is... Mr Edwin You don't allow..

Perhaps there is no more chance for me to stay with them...

Jia En. Even though you like to quarrel with me, there is no blame to you as I am joking with you all most of the time. Thanks for the quarrel time in the Control Room.

Jamie, my dearest sister in Hongkah. Even I am your brother, also your Senior. I never never look down on you. But sad to say, you really look like pauline.. Cheerful, kind, lovable.. Very very glad to have you as my sister, let continue to walk all the way ok? Promised here.

Li Ping, erm... I don't know her very well... She have the attidude of Jia Yan... Silent, Cheerful, Kind.. Nevertheless their trademark is.. HAHAHAHA~~~ ... Very glad that I have you as my junior..

Zheng Hong, not that bad yea? You have the potential to do your best with a condition... Don't slack too much.. Take care of my sister ya.. If not.. You should know what I will do

Wei Xiong.. Very cocky ar... Joking.. Yea have fun with you all isn't that bad... change a bit of your attidude before you get whack.. Remember to help out!..

Dexter, Welcome to the lowest and the un-noticable CCA section that Hongkah have... there is always room for discussion.. ask Zheng Hong or Wei Xiong if you don't understand...

All, Thanks all the memories that you all gave me.. Its the time that we go on to continue our path.. I really believe that somehow, somewhat.. You all can make it....

Back to talk about myself.. This week is the most terrible week among the year.. Not just the weather that causes the bad mood that I have.. This month.. Symbolised the leaving of the greens.. Soon have to say final good-bye to everyone le...

This year is not a good year for the sec 5s either.. Teachers keep having things on... Why us!!!! This is getting better year by year.. What we gets are nothing much other then bad memories that from past.. Making us to be better in character.. I should not have said much...

Seeyea.. anything special then I will update.. others, update at least once a week

2009-06-02T00:28:00.002+08:00

Back, just come back to updating a little.

Today I was having GCE"O" level Examination of Chinese. The paper turns quite tough, don't care la. what ever done is done.. now pray hard to get a better marks.. I miss my old days where we play and play together. I miss the days that I was still lower sec and sec 3,4. I miss them all.. Never the less I have made it to sec5 I sure do have my reason..

There is 1 good question that I want to ask. " Future or Tomorrow " comes first...
What mine answer is.. Future come first.. Because we are living in other's future and as well as living at someone's pass... Life only that short about 70 years to do what ever you want to do.. This year is damn hot.. I just don't know why.. I have this strong sense that my seal is breaking and things start happenning.. That isn't that bad either, but I have to prepare you know?

For my time now us 12.33 am.. got to go sleep

Seeya

2009-05-26T21:59:00.002+08:00

2nd post... I want to talk about past...

JiaWei is one of my AVA trainer.. nick name is mike man... mean while I am cable man.
I forgotten whether that this nick name for Jia Wei is given by Mr Lee or not... I know I was introduced to sec1 like this... about 3 years ago..

Time pass and alot people leave our side... keep them contacted... Is always better then losing them... Jia Wei will remember me?

2009-05-26T21:36:00.002+08:00

Back, Just to post about my life within this few weeks.

This few week are the cool down week of my life. I cannot forgot about her.. Her damage to me is still very pain.. She is who I guess alot of you might know. Really trying to hold and protect her in my own risk.. Yes I do hear complain about her... But I am not willing to leave anyone out.. I have said that I not leaving mean Not Leaving... I will try to forget about her in my memories but very hard..

This week result of Mid-Year released.. Even its all subject is almost failed.. I didn't mind. I know that I going to target my weakness and work on it. Talking about school works, we already having structure for GCE "O" level chinese... Its should be tough I willing to try and get over it. I attend special structure from Mdm Wong who teaches the B class of chinese.. We have fun and end off like that for 2 days.

Talking of personnal life... This few week I am quite down.. I know that certain things is happenning and we cannot do anything about and to it. Somehow this make me feels that I am useless. I think after "O" Level. I will go work as relief teacher if my grade allow and I kind of miss them in long hoildays... I make not ask for perfect. I just want it my way that it. I am tired of being tied down with works... I have things that I worry for.. I care for.. and I love...

Things are not very simple even they appear to be... Some may agree some may argue... I not going to give up because of some small things... I promise everyone.. I not going to let... anyone leave me again.. not anymore....

Socerer of chaostic era..
Desmond

2009-05-15T22:05:00.002+08:00

Back,

Sorry, I have removed the song.. didn't you spot it?

This week end of my exams.. after that got alot of heavy intensive structure program.. will die it this insist for damn long.. nothing much to post ... later then update

2009-05-07T23:00:00.003+08:00

Back, Just to post something....

I think... I... Have been quite tired these days, I having exam these few weeks.. I am exhausted when paper ends.. I think it much more relaxing when exam period. Its stress but.. It good.. no more long time table... no more remedial.. and structure lessons... I just installed the newest MSN messenger with the MSN patch...

Fliping back to memories... I think.. I Have alot..

Sec1 ~ 2
1st friend in Hong Kah is Terry and Jerry... I know they are sometime bastard.. They are the one who I know first.. Our index number are linked.. I was 32, Terry is 33, Jerry is 34.. This is the First friend in Hong Kah.

There are still some from my primary schoolmate.. Corporation Primary School 1999~2004 batch... they are Wei yi , Nawari, Mei yu, and some more I can't remember their names..

Slowly I get to know Yi Long, Jia Da, Jeremy, Zi Yang... At sec 1, we are bondless..

Sec 2~3
I was under my favorite teacher as our Form-teacher. Mdm Tan Linda, we have alot of fun and trouble also.... Me, Jeremy, Jiada, Yilong. start to bond together... We play together, and get trouble together.. This was one of the happiest moment is Hongkah..

Sec3~4
Same teacher, Mdm Tan Linda was the form teacher.. She didn't manage to teach much of our Physic because she was our science teacher. At the time was about end of year, she went to give birth... we wish her all the best.. This year was the most bond together... with Yilong and Jeremy as Jiada can't make it to our class.. I went for OBS this year.. Nila Utama batch.. haha.. This year one of the teacher name Miss Maise Ong went for poly as lecturer

Sec4~5
There is a change in our form teacher, Mdm Lisa Chuah.. She was a good teacher, Just that everyone's Teaching method are different.. She was also the one who teaches us. " 1 pontent, all pontent.." wow unique teacher yea? she only wears blacks.. I don't know why, Don't ask me.. Mdm Tan suddenly resign as a teacher.. This shock us to the core... When the last day.. We ask Mdm Chuah to prank Mdm Tan that we are in trouble.. So that we can see her for the last time in Hongkah... Last happpiest moment.. Still can remember that when Mdm Tan teaches math for lower sec. We are there because we having recess at that time... last memoriable time..

Sec 5~now..
Started to feel more stress after I made it at N level. I decided to choing and try hard... hope it works. Life have been terrible since this year.. My sister hurts me.. Every one leaves us alone....
I really don't know what to do.. Lost till now..

This is what I feels these years.. Lost. There is no guide line for it... *sign* .. Life is bad, have to go on..

See yea

2009-05-03T03:05:00.002+08:00

back,

Comming week is the most challenging week, exams are comming back. Its really tough you know. Sitting at the hall for the Cluster paper and cold to my death... Last week I really not happy with some teachers.

He claimed that he make an appointment then I didn't appear, you see for yourself, We have structure almost everyday, except thursday, You expect me to come and do only your work?
I will work as per normal. When I think I can do it, I will, If not no matter how much you force I will be still on the same step...

Second thing, Money rule the world? He like to use this sentence.. No money No talk.. Don't pay me money can drop D&T. What kind of teacher is this.. Money minded.. Useless pathetic Worthless scrum. Think before you say anything. Yilong does say 2 person.. You treat me as dead? I will make you suffer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This week by right is to be normal, but got this kind of person really get me to my nerves. If he is not a teacher I sure make him Suffer.!!! What the hell. Who do he think he is?

I can rage anytime. But choose not to.

back to my life. What have I done is basically nothing much or special. Leading a daily routine. Just that I have to complete this challenge.. By the end of june I must be lvl 90. I think this is hard. I think I will try. Fail mean fail. Nothing I can say. Just now I help to train 3Xcrosser, she's now lvl 32. Quite slow.. Never mind, I will work hard. got to go

Seeya

2009-04-28T19:05:00.002+08:00

Comming back to post.

My throat have been a killing pain in me. As today I have some good news that I think that I able to rest .. My form teacher didn't come to school for next 2 days as she gone for course. This is really good time to rest. Today I also quite happy and today can say its a tough day. Why I happy because I play alot of prank on others people. You can think that I am stupid, I think its fine..

That end off my day, see yea

2009-04-26T01:12:00.004+08:00

Back, This week is my exam week drag for about 2 weeks.

Never mind. I have lost almost everything. Nothing I can do about it. There is alot of thing that I have been suffering in.. Release me please, Release me from the pain.. I don't really can take it anymore. Everynight I see stars, Shine so bright, I also sense that thing happening, more and more serious thing going to happen. Very very regret now. Its also good for me now. I see the other me, he's is silent yet loyalty.. Every night, I was stab by the invisible knife call regret. This is the most painful wound I have right now. I wish I can now release my self. I cannot change my Identity now... This is the only time that I really can say I lost... I lost completely. This is the only chance that to see who am I actually. I am that socerer, that elemental socerer. That person who can cast spells.. Nothing I can do except to cast spell...

I have face this reality. I am not normal. I have to change other's fate.. This is something that I have to do alone.
I am that socerer... This is the fact that I have to face everyday.. I want to cry... I don't want to lose anyone any more... Seems that everyone have the confidence to do whatever they wants, I no longer have the change anymore.. I have to stay alone ... This is the fact. I have lost too much.
even Myself. Something I cannot run from it. I am cursed and destined to suffer. I am also a socerer.

我已经失去了很多东西，我根本没有任何办法能够阻止这一切。我也在很多方面上受了伤，但我真的无能为力。解开我，解开我对这神秘的命运。我好难过，我真得真的很难过，我已经受够了。每夜，我望着天空，我面对的是闪闪亮亮的星星。他仿佛跟我说，我会面对一个跟大的挑战。如今的我是在描述后悔，但也不错。我看到他。另一面的我，冷静的忠义。我每夜被后悔穿越。这是我的致命伤，我好希望我能够解自己，但我不能改我的身份。这次是我真的真的输了。在这机会中我看见我就是一名妖师，一名五行的妖师。那位只会单单使妖术的人罢了。我什么多不会处了妖术。

如今我面对现实，我不正常，我要改一个人的命运，我会单单一个人做。我就是那名妖师，这是我每一天面对的事实，好相好想哭。但哭不出。我不想失去任何人了。看似每个人有他的自信来做他们想做的东西，我没有这个机会了。我一定要一个人面对，这是事实.. 我已失去得太多连自己都失去了。我没有办法逃出我是妖师的命运了。我也被诅咒。

see yea.

2009-04-20T16:43:00.002+08:00

我已经不是我了，我最终我改变了。我想，我已经不是你们认识的Desmond。但我依然会照顾你们这一些好友陪伴我那么多年。我答应了我自己“我绝不放弃他人”放心我放弃的是我自己。

感谢佳达和毅龙和一些好友，多谢了。我不懂我是否能够像以前那样得开心，应为我已经对一些事情的发生感到后悔，可以说是我的错，后悔当初没对他好一些，我好恨自己。恨自己的过错然我不能和他再度相处。我现在的她的程度时：看是近但是我们其实很遥远。明白了吗？

为了什么我变成了这样，是我做错了什么，又没有人能够告诉我。我究竟是为了什么？对不起我真的真得好痛，我的心真的真得好痛。这可说是我用情最深的一次，也可说是最痛的一次。放任无奈，我的泪光承受不了。痛得想哭但哭不出。

后会有期。再见。

back, I already no longer the man that I was. No longer that Desmond that you all knows, but I will still take care of you all my friends and family. Thank you, you all have been such a good friend for me so many years. I promised myself that I never give up on other, the only person I gave up is myself.

Thank Jiada and YiLong for my best friend these years. I don't know whether I still can be as cheerful as usual? Maybe yes maybe nope. I have already regret that certain things happened, its already the past and yet it hurts me lots. I regrets that initially I didn't treat her will, spend my time with her, I hate myself, now I don't have a single way to get close to her again..

What have made me became like that, Is it all my fault, the way that I handle my relationship are wrong? or ? Who can tell me who or what thing am I now. I am sorry. Really sorry, Its hurt alot in my heart this time I really true to her. I want to cry but can't..

Its time I say good bye to her and see ya to u all.

2009-04-12T12:45:00.003+08:00

Getting back to update, I really not happy to with my form teacher.

Everytime nag and nag non-stop like no body's business. As if I am happy with it, pick on me day by day.

Last week Speech Day Rehearsal was a fail. Music gone wrong, I got blamed. long hours of standing in the control room makes me feel sick. Partly I am sick for past few weeks. I didn't get enough rest maybe?

I really really want to take a long beak to everything and love my sisters. Can I?

see yea because nothing much to say now.

2009-04-06T18:17:00.002+08:00

Hi, back to update. Its really tough in Sec 5.

Today I tried to pull 10 time chin-up. I only manage to get 8 maximium... Its a great de-provement for me, didn't inprove yet drop standard..
Today I see alot of thing happenning. Today I predicted things happenning. Today is the day that whereby alot of thing I encounter problem with..

Why? Why thing always happen when I want to talk to my dear sister again.
Why? Why am I here for? Just to see and not getting Sisters?
Why? Why am I trap here? Its really hard to get myself out of realtionships.
Why? Why I am so emotional. Why I am so sadistic. Can't I cheer up?

Life meant to be fun. Troublesome too. I currently have to goal or aims. But I willing to do things for everyone. life tough day by day. I trying to look at the bright side of life. Its not that bad after all.

Today My team have a small talk with Mr Edwin You, our CCA ( AVA ) Teacher-In-Charge.
We talk about speech day rehearsal. The program that they planned have problem with it. Whatever it writes are wrong... But we manage to spot it and do things suddenly. This proves that we are not slow person. Once again I am the key personnal in control room again.
I doing everything alone. Range from controling backstage personnal all the way till everythings inside control room. I am the Overall-In-Charge to be simple..

I have to take note with all the things up there, meanwhile I also have to take care of my team mate. Well I still can take it. Its still okay for me. haha. Last rehearsal we have some trouble, There is no time for me to take a break.

Thursday, the first speech day rehearsal. we have problem with the tone of the emcee. Its realy funny voice. At the second try, I manage to take note of what to do. It didn't turn out that bad. That day the light music were played in my hand phone ( Nokia 5320 Express Music ) haha. untill Mr You still don't know. haha. This Thursday having another one. I want to make it perfect, but with flaw. I know that nothing is perfect, so I never aim to have perfect things. Hope later part in the week, I get blessing and most importantly, Audrey is happy.....

See yea, That socerer

2009-03-30T19:27:00.002+08:00

Just comming back to post a bit.

Today alot of people in my class sick, I am one of them.. Entire day I can't even concentrate well, I just sms my sisters and wake myself up for a moment and try not to sleep..

I was just informed that school's event ( Speech Day'09) comming, there is rehearsal at this wednesday, I don't know what is it going to be like this year. So I am quite curious for this year's.
I remember I have a award call COLOR'S AWARD. But don't know when de, last year posted and say is this year speech day. Can it be this year? I am wondering.

Today have long hours of lessons. Pain due to my old and new injury are driving me crazy. The pain is insane. But I am still able to accept it. Just now before home, I was with Jia Da and Jeremy together to take bus to Jurong Point. Jia Da say I am crazy!
I am playing with everything I can think of. I started off with Mr Tan. I say he didn't teach us enough, then I link to Ms Ang... From Ms Ang, I link to Mrs Indra. She is damn funny, I still can remember that when she taught us the Decomposition of forest matters, Then link to her dead hamsters, then say her hamster so easy to die. I remember correctly that time we ( 5N2 ) say our form teacher is turtle, because she was looking alike and she act like one. haha. Amy said that " should buy turtle, more durable... " the class like LOLed. then she know our meaning and ask us. " Who you all talking about. your form teacher yea?" we just keep laughing... then Amy say, " Mrs Indra you guess, you know one." the Mrs Indra asked " Male or Female." we replied " Female " Amy added she service for 15 years in HongKah. LOL . then she guess " Is it Mdm Sherifah?" then the whole class laugh. We added, " We didn't say, it you say, We only laugh only." LOLed~ . At MRT station, I played with the station manager's Name C.J Singh.
LOL I claimed as Chang Jiang Singh. LOL but just kidding.

When we at Jurong Point, I saw vinly and her cousin. Jiamin. then we say hi and walk off. after that we proceed on to Kopitiam and take dinner except me. Jeremy walk me home and I sent him off. This ends off my day.

Today I am crazy! See yea

2009-03-28T15:27:00.002+08:00

So long, every thing seems to be so long.
My life is getting chaostic day by day, Sorry to everyone who haev high expectation on me.

Sorry Audrey, Can you forgive me. I accidently gave you my attidude problem. Sorry really.
Its seems that I am not a good guy. I cause problem and trouble, I am such a let down to who have high expectation on me.

Start of term 2? end of my life?
I don't know what to do... who can tell me what am I suppose to do.
I am lost

Seeya.

2009-03-23T19:22:00.003+08:00

Back to post. This is the new term, by right I have to be happy... ... But things seem as bad as before.

What I did't think of really happen. This shows that my prediction is comming true, I should not try to hide. Its time I face the fact.. Life is terrible enough for the past few days. So whatever I dare to think will come true.. It seems that what I predicted NEGATIVELY always come true. Is this a curse on me OR somethings else... ...

Today seems to be peaceful, because I have enough of yesterday. It was a nightmare, Come so fast and disappeared in light. It serves it purpose to warn me thing obviously. But what it trying to hint...

Thirdly, my wish.. Never Ever hurt anyone anymore. Life is just another extension of dream..

人生是梦的延长

有时间就笑笑看人间。 haha....

Maybe posting later in the weeks.

Seeya

2009-03-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

Back, No longer the man that I was..

Since my days so bad, I will try to study a bit harder..

2009-03-14T18:16:00.002+08:00

Finally I break down..

I really very stress these few days. I really really stress. I now alone at home updating, Tell you a bit for today.. I very bored with my life, Nothing special no life. I have to work on the video project from Mdm Sim, I left a week in home, 5 days in school. In short I left a bit time for it.

I don't wanna up too much after my project is done then says. see ya

2009-03-07T10:51:00.002+08:00

Back, I trying to updating blog.

I am now dishearted. I don't know where I can go and can do. I am lost.
I want to protect her. Yet failed, But never mind if she is fine, I am also fine with it. Try not to say so much.

I am rather Impulsive right now. I can't be angered, if not, I kills. These few days I have been living under fear and impulse. Anytime I can kills. I am not who you think. I am just another evil mage.

I meant to protect and change whoever's fate if whoever anger me, except my beloved one.
Don't provoke me is the best choice. If not price to pay is something that you can't afford. Will not cost life. But it harms

2009-03-05T17:44:00.002+08:00

back to updating a bit, I doesn't have much time to update from now on.

Very tired for today, today is the sport day. My sister won alot I am proud of her. Thanks to her for that wonderful days that I have. I don't have much time to face a crisis. Because I am who she knows. I really want to step out that crisis, I can't. Due to I am still not really a Normal. Whoever it can be. Whoever this crisis can harm, I will stop with all my might...

At first, I am terribly exhausted can't work as usual. My signs of getting a trouble with my health is getting clearer and clearer. There is still lots of thing that I have not accomplished but health does not support for it. I have alot of worries but I don't want them to come true. Hope that I will be getting better for my heath. currently I feels that I am dying. Very very useless to counter all the problem with me

I think through it before I gonna act for now. I will leave this world some days when the crisis comes.

from that sorcerer, Desmond

2009-02-24T21:20:00.002+08:00

Back, I am gald that I didn't lose her, but I still regrets that I didn't protect her.
I didn't do my part as a brother. I didn't help her instead of I walk off. I not fit to be her Brother....

Times pass so fast. She is more cheerful right now, hope that she is true to me. I really found this sister that have alot of similarities with me. Cannot afford to lose her.

Recently I just get contact with Audrey LeeShuWen jie jie. She still the same as usual. She took her Course at Ngee Ann Polytechnic ( Nursing ) she says that she want to have a life skill, that is nursing. I do miss her, She is my Elder sister. Another Audrey also my Younger sister. Life isn't that bad when you look at bright side of it. I got 2 caring sister and my dear.

My life isn't that bad after all. But have regrets... that is didn't protect her when she is need of my help. I got a few words to say...

For Audrey Lee Shuwen ( Elder Sister ):
姐姐，好久不见了，过得还好吗？我过得好但还是有后悔过。我好后悔当初没有好好的照顾你，如今，你还记得我，我觉得我很高兴。我会好好的珍惜你的。再见，好像再见你在丰嘉。

For Audrey ( Younger Sister):
你好, 我好惭愧，没有办法帮你。我也很后悔，没给你走出过去的阴影。是我的不对，原谅我好吗？我不想失去任何人，因为我是疼你的。

I should be happy, but I am sad. I still cannot walk out of my past, my shadow. I want to be myself, yet I fear that I will walk back to my past and history repeats. I am in pain now, so I wish not updating so much . Because I want time to numb myself and I want to help her no matter what.

Hope my life is getting better. Seeya

2009-02-22T22:19:00.002+08:00

Back to update. I am facing the fear of losing Audrey, my dearest sister. I hope that every thing have not started. I want to get back to my past. I hate present, present is fill up with trouble.

I want my family's care. I want it very much, I very sad. I hope time stop, I know it is a selfish act. But thats me.

Today had been a nice day for me. Even its so nice I still sense fear, my personal fear. I scared of losing my friends and love one. I today have a game of Majong. Its really fun, I keep losing. Its okay for me..

I do laugh, Who knows when I really crys

Seeya updating tomorrow maybe...

2009-02-21T23:56:00.002+08:00

-_- Back, with result.

Even her mum appears so good in front of me
but her heart is black. I know something is going on but I really have no idea.
I have no idea whats going on, I know something bad, that it, that simple.

I now Depressed. I scared that I caused her into a Deep Deep trouble, Me also.
what appear might not be true, doesn't means that its false.

Sorry Audrey mei and Dear Dear, I have cause you all alot of troubles, very very sorry, really sorry.

updating some time
seeya